*Could be triggering and/or upsetting for some readers*
*Disclaimer: I in absolutely no way support self harm. I just wish to educate people and to hopefully help someone*
Self harm is a really serious thing so I am going to talk about it and perhaps educate some of you.
As you may well know, I have suffered from self harm problems. it’s started in February 2015 and is kind of still on going but not as much as I am recovering thankfully.
Self harm is something that will never go away. Not just because the scars last a lifetime but because you will always have that one bad day, even if you’ve be self harm free for years, where you will wonder “Shall I self harm?” It will always be there to haunt any bad moment you have.
A real problem I hate about people who self harm are the ones who say “Your self harm isn’t as bad as mine. That’s not proper self harm.” Let me set this straight: It takes an awful lot of pain for someone to physically harm themselves. Whether you literally just dig your nails into your skin or cut that is still self harm. They are equally as bad and both of those things should mean that the person receives help.
I also hate the stereotype that when someone self harms they cut. It is the most common way but it’s not the only way.
I hate the romantisising of self harm. It is not romantically tragic. It is physical pain done by oneself. It is something that needs urgent attention.
Enough of what I hate. Time for something else.
I believe that if I am to truly help someone then I need to offer alternatives that may help you stop self harming. Some things may not work for some people.
- The one that helped me was putting PVA glue on my hands and then pealing it off.
- Holding ice.
- Listing everything going on in your head.
- Listening to calming music.
Another thing you can do which is a really tough thing to do. Throw whatever you use to harm yourself away. Mine were small so I just threw them out the window and they are probably still on my grass going really rusty. But I like thinking of that. It means they are eroding away and will be forever gone one day. Try to do this when you are having a good day so that when the bad day comes you will have nothing.
For self harmers it’s hard when there’s no lifeline there. Like when you are in school and you are extremely negative. There is nothing there to make you feel better. Nothing to self harm with and nothing to use as are an alternative to self harm. When you feel like you really can’t cope and there’s nothing to hold onto then just think over and over in your head something positive. For example “It will be okay” or “I do not need to self harm”. That could be used for any time I guess. Not just school.
A lot of people are really ashamed of their scars or marks and hate other people seeing them. My advice is that these are your battle wounds. You are battling something in your head that is much bigger than all of us as it is something the human race is yet to understand. They show your still alive and fighting so don’t be ashamed. Be proud that you are still here. People may criticise them but what do they know? If they don’t care then they aren’t worth your time.
The best kind of person a self harmer can meet is another self harmer. Someone who knows what it’s like. They won’t insult you ever because otherwise they’d be insulting themselves.
An even better person for a current self harmer to meet is a recovered self harmer. They can talk about how to get through it ad give advice and help. They know the whole process from starting to being clean. They’re the experts and know what they are doing. They will always be there for you.
So come talk to me if you need it. For absolutely anything. I’ll always be here. I’ve done a lot of research on these sort of things and mental health. I’d say I know what I’m talking about.
I will probably do another post like this soon talking more about the stigma and other non self harmers and society and the internet’s view.
Thanks for reading. Have a lovely day.
– Willow xx